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Retirement
is World's longest coffee break.
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May
your family's Thanksgiving dinner be less awkward than the Petraeus's.
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Happy
Thanksgiving to someone who's taught me how to not hate holidays.
Funny Thanksgiving
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Happy
Thanksgiving. Be thankful that only one-third of your family has been institutionalized.
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Live
it up! You're only middle-aged once. Happy Birthday!
Funny Birthday
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Do
you know what late nights, parties and hanging out with friends on the weekend have in common? You wont be able to do any of those from now on. Congratulations for your wedding.
Funny Wedding
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You're
such a lucky duck! To have a great chick like me! Happy Valentine's Day, Honey! I love you!
Funny Valentines Day
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Your
wedding wows are actually an unsaid contract in which you agree to be tied down to your spouse all your life. Congrats buddy.
Funny Wedding
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A
day of loving. A week of quarrel. A month of war. A year of marriage. Happy Anniversary!
Funny Anniversary
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Happy
Valentine's Day to someone who was way ahead of Monopoly in replacing things in their life with cats.
Funny Valentines Day
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