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Your match wasnt made in heaven. It was made in my bedroom that you two used so often. Congratulations to my best buddies for getting married.

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Anniversaries remind me that I am can annoy you again. Thanks for last year giving me plenty of opportunity. For now, happy anniversary!

Funny Anniversary

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Birthdays give us a moment to collect our thoughts and to reflect upon our feelings for those very important people in our lives. You are such a special blessing to us and we treasure your friendship. It is with much love that we wish you the happiest birthday ever!

Simple Birthday Bday Friend Birthday Happy Birthday Birthday Card Best Friend Birthday

You may be married, but you dont have to grow up! Congratulations on your wedding!

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May your family's Thanksgiving dinner be less awkward than the Petraeus's.

Funny Thanksgiving

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Happy Thanksgiving to someone who's taught me how to not hate holidays.

Funny Thanksgiving

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Happy Thanksgiving. Be thankful that only one-third of your family has been institutionalized.

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The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does.

Funny Retirement

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Now that you are married, you must master the art of saying yes when you actually want to say no. Congratulations on your wedding.

Retirement kills more people than hard work ever did.

Funny Retirement

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