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Cheers
to the nations biggest secret, your true age. Happy birthday!
Funny Birthday
4
Live
it up! You're only middle-aged once. Happy Birthday!
Funny Birthday
3
Happy
Thanksgiving! Let's regret our eating decisions this Thanksgiving as much as Native Americans regret trusting white people.
Funny Thanksgiving
2
Happy
Anniversary to a couple whose age difference is much less creepy now...
Funny Anniversary
73
If
tonight some big fat man kidnaps and throws you in to a sack, then please stay calm. Because many people would have asked Santa for a sweet friend like you. Merry Christmas, dear. Enjoy!
Funny Christmas
114
No
amount of heartfelt congratulatory wishes that I give you on your wedding will protect you from the painful life of slavery you are about to start as a husband. Congratulations anyway.
Funny Wedding
11
Happy
Valentines Day. Heres a money-saving tip: Break up on Feb 13th, get back together on the 15th.
Funny Valentines Day
2
Happy
Thanksgiving to someone obsessively checking email on Thanksgiving.
Funny Thanksgiving
2
Happy
Thanksgiving and good luck masking your eating disorder this Thanksgiving.
Funny Thanksgiving
0
Happy
Thanksgiving! Let's eat enough to feed a third-world family for a month.
Funny Thanksgiving
0
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